Friday sermon – 5th October 2012
On5th October 2012, the Friday prayer was held in Imam Hussein (a.s) Mosque Dubai by Ayatollah Sey’yed Mahmoud Madani. The following is brief of the first sermon.
In first sermon after Allah’s praise, encomium and reciting peace upon Mohammad (PBUH) and his immaculate pure and chosen family he advised and reminds himself and all the prayers to have the Allah’s virtue and obtain the characters of righteous.
He explained that "we were discussing sermons of Nahjolbalaqa about virtues. But a break happened and again we are going to continue our previous discussions. We reached to the pairs of Imam Ali (a.s)'s speech that he expressed how behave of a virtue man should be to friends and enemies. The behavior to the enemies was discussed two weeks before. Imam Ali (a.s) has told that being enemy to someone will not eligible you to oppress to him. We had a brief discussion on that as well.
But regarding the friends, he says "The friendship or being relative or ___having love to someone is not enough to fall in sin". Unfortunately most of the sins and crimes in society happen because of the interests and loves. Someone of his relatives or friends refers to him to do something and because of the friendship and love that person, he become impartial and spoils the rights of others for sake of his friend or relative and so falls in sin. Or his friend invites him to a circle which is sinful but because of the friendship he participates in the circle even there would be sin.
Imam Hussein (a.s) invited Omar-ibn-Sa'ad to talk to him alone. He asked him "who is in right? He answered if I'm going to deny the battle with you they will burn out my garden! Imam answered "I will give you a garden of mine" Again Omar brought some other excuses to deny Imam's invitation to stop the fight. If he would accept to help Imam Hussein there might not be big difference in the final result, but Imam Hussein wanted to guide him to the right path and rescue him of fire. As final excuse Omar told that I have young girls that if I join you they will be unlucky. He persuade the girls of prophet be in trouble but keep his daughters safe and lucky. He ran away from the middle of heaven that Imam trying to take him there to the bottom of the hell as he loves his daughters. Finally there was no use for his girls as well.
Imam Ali (a.s) says to us "the love and interest won't make the virtue man to fall in sin". If the love and dependence to others falls in the limits of Allah's satisfaction will raise us. O' Allah, grant us the power to control love and interest in the frame that you like.
In addition to our continuation discussion, we expressed the exemplary family and I told some pillars of the exemplary family. One of the fundamentals that we will discuss now is the bilateral commitment feeling. The thing that we have less in our life and it is the root of most of our troubles. To explain this I will express that living beside each other is different to live together. I will bring an example of a few students that are living in school's dorm or some workers that sharing a flat. These are just living close to each other and they have no legal or moral commitment to each other. Just note that any of these people whenever likes to sleep will sleep or whenever likes to back home or anytime to leave out there will be no commitment on their behavior rather than each other. What to eat? And whatever each one likes. What to put on? It is not others business. Whatever they like they might eat or put.
Here we live beside each other, and normally each one will live as he likes. But family is different. It is mistake that some think should live like this in family as well.
In family we live together and the difference is in only one word. In family we should live as per each other likes and dislikes. In previous mentioned communities every one lives as per his interests but in family we should live as per all members interests. In an exemplary family we should look to others interest as well because we are living together not living beside each other.
Our prophet Mohammad (PBUH) told that:" the faithful man will live as per his family's interests and the hypocrite will make his family to live as per his interest.
In living beside each other we have no commitments to each other but in family we have. I will mention some of them as a list and pass. The first commitment that we have is the financial commitment. Suppose in a family the wife she is wealthy and the husband is a paid worker, whether husband can pay the life expenses from his wife's money? No, the life expenses are on husband's shoulder. He is eligible for Hajj pilgrimage but should leave his family unpaid for a month while he is in Hajj. Even in this case is not compulsory for him to go for Hajj but he should stay and work and fulfill the life expenses of the family life. If he is poor and using of his wife's money, the same amount will be his due to her and he should pay her later, unless the wife forgives him. Yes if she pays and be satisfy for this there will be cooperation in life but the limits are clear. The western culture says that the husband and wife are living beside each other so each one should bring his share to the life expenses. About the parents and children life expenses, if the children are wealthy and have enough assets to manage their life expenses, there will be no responsibility on their parents to support them, the same if the parents are enough wealthy so it is not necessary for their children to support them. If the parents are poor and can’t support their life, it is compulsory for their children to support them.
Somebody brought his father before prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and told that he has used all the heritage of mine for himself. The old father told to prophet that “I’ve spend all the money for his life!” Then prophet told to the son that” You and all your assets are from him!” If we hear somebody says that when I’m going to spend for my mother as her husband passed away and has no support, my wife claims that this money that you spend are mine and my kids! How much careless?! Not to forget that that whatever we had are from our parents.
Yes, Imam Sadiq (a.s) has told that “father can use his son’s money in a level of an ordinary life but not more”. So our parents has their rights to be paid for their ordinary life by their son and the same about our children if are needy.
About the spent of Zakah or Khoms, in cases that are permitted, if you have in your close relatives somebody who is needy, first you should pay them but you are not eligible to pay to your parents! Why? Because they are your family member, and never should be left needy to be eligible to receive the Khoms or Zakah. You should support them before.
This is our first commitment which is financial support of each other and is the least level but not to forget that we may have the oldness and poorness later. Never gift the parents proudly and by reproach to make them shy and feel that are needy to you! We should remember the Prophet (PBUH)’s speech that “you and your wealth are for your parents". Kiss their hands and explain that whatever I earn is belonging to you, I just brought some for you, please make me honored if you accept this.
The second commitment especially in between of wife and husband is the instinct and nature satisfaction responsibility. They are responsible to fully satisfy each other. Otherwise any of them may use the prohibited ways to get satisfied and it will be responsibility of the faulty side. I don’t like to open this discussion but it is important. We have advised to dress up for our wives as we expect them to do for us the same. We have in express of narrations that Bani-Israil’s ladies were falling in sin because their husbands were not keeping themselves clean and neat. The men’s dress up is not to trim his eyebrow or putting earrings; these are coming from other cultures and are not ours. We should be set up, use perfume; comb the hair and others like this. But it is necessary to take care. As our eyes should be satisfied by our wives, their eyes as well should be satisfied by us. Narrated that an old lady came to meet Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) while she was disordered, and Prophet told her why are you so improper? You should to be dressed up even you are old.
When she is at home puts on the normal ones but if invited to a wedding ceremony she puts on the best and uses cosmetics but for others and out of the family! This is wrong. The setup and makeup should be for the family.
It has narrated that someone met Imam Ali-ibn-Musa Al-Redha (a.s) and he had dyed the hair by Hena or other herbs. He assumed that these are young people subject to make them awesome and beautiful and so asked: Sir has you dyed your hair?!
Imam Redha (a.s) replied that the makeup and dress up of men helps their wife to keep themselves of Haram and have chastity. Let’s finish this subject. Although there might be some people that will never get satisfied and may have psychological problems that we pray Allah to help them. But the majority of people if get satisfaction inside their family will never follow it up outside the family and in Haram ways and it will keep the society to be safe. Dear brothers and sisters one of the commitments of wife and husband is the satisfaction of the instincts and should be satisfied inside the family and the satisfaction of our partners is more important than ours and we should not only think for ourselves but care about the other side as well.
Our third commitment is the satisfaction for sentimental and feelings of each other. My brothers and sister, human is not a machine that if you full the fuel and oil, it will move! We need rather than food and clothes to love and sentimental. If you look at the Qur’an verses somewhere you see that Allah telling to his prophet that “we will never stop to support you”. Even the best human in the world needs the consolation and Allah giving him the consolation. In the family, the wife to husband, husband to wife, both of them to their children and children to parents should present their love and show their affection.
We should fulfill the love and affection for the family members inside the family.
I don’t want to explain more about the kindness and affection in family as I’ve discussed enough before, just reminding that narration of our Prophet (PBUH) that he was hugging and kissing one of his grandsons (may be Imam Hassan (a.s) or Imam Hussein (a.s)) and someone saw and told to prophet that no need to do that, I have 10 sons but never do like you! Prophet replied to him that what I can do as Allah kept out love of your heart. And when he was passing told to his companions that if somebody wants to look to somebody deserves the hell just look at him.
Regarding to keep the equality and fare in love and affection. Narrated that somebody was beloved by his mother more than the other children and his mother made her husband to grant a land to his name and for evidencing they went to Prophet (PBUH) and asked him to be witness for this transfer. Then Prophet (PBUH) asked him whether you are giving to other children the same? He replied no. Then Prophet (PBUH) told him I will never be witness for a cruelty! See how beautiful is this? If we consider such things in families, how many arguments and disputes will never raise. In showing the love and kindness keep the justice and righteousness.
Please pay attention, as some just came and are late I will make a conclusion in a minute and then will talk about the subject. Regarding the exemplary society we told that there should be fundamentals for an exemplary family. We talked about some basics last weeks and today we explained that the bilateral commitment feeling should role the family. I explained that in a family we are not only living beside each other but also living together. Living together and living beside each other are different and when living beside each other each one lives on its own willing but in living together we should consider other sides willing as well. The bilateral commitment and first is the financial commitment of the husband toward his wife and children, the parents life expenses based on the medium and regular and out of extra ordinary and wastage. These are compulsory. Secondly we told that the commitment to satisfy the instinct and natural needs of the body and third we explained that the love and affection needs also should be satisfied bilaterally.
The fourth and the last commitment is the responsibility regarding the other side’s responsibilities. Please listen carefully, we are responsible about the social responsibilities of the other side and should respect to that. Suppose the man is a university professor and need to study in a silent atmosphere to be ready for tomorrow’s classes that he has, or the wife she is pregnant and is in a specific condition of mentality and feelings that should be considered from other side. We should accept the responsibilities and have respects and commitments towards our other side’s conditions. In the period of nursing the children or upbringing them also we should feel our responsibility. It the time of sickness, or may be upsetting due to general condition of the society or family and so on. In a word we should have our commitments regarding the other side’s responsibilities in different conditions and circumstances.
We as religious missionary, should travel to other points during month of Ramadhan or Muharram or other religious events and on those times our wives should take the responsibilities of both the father and the mother to take care of the children or the governmental people and political activists who are most of the time out of their house. Ayatollah Hashemi’s wife was narrating that my husband never was in the children’s birth ceremonies and most of the time was busy outside. In one word I’m saying that the wife respects to her husband’s job like the best job in the world. Husband respects to his wife’s works at home or outside. Upbringing the children is not an easy work. If we take the responsibility of home works we would be unable to do!
Oh, Allah, grant us the success in performing our duties as per your satisfaction. O’ Allah every minute add to the love and affections in Amir-Al-Momenin’s follower’s families…
The second Sermon presented in Arabic.
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